This. Is. Hard.

This is hard. Second year of Pharmacy school has hit me like a run away train. This. Is. Hard. I’m half way through the semester and there is a lot going on. Like.. to much!! I’m not going to lie. My first pharmacotherapeutics (PT) self-care exam for this semester I failed it…. I was upset for a really long time about it and stressed. I questioned myself if I am smart enough for pharmacy school. Then I had a HORRIBLE experience at a anticoagulant clinic at my IPPE site. The pharmacist made me feel stupid and embarrassed to even be there. She was asking me intense questions on things that I haven’t even learned. And I know, I know I haven’t learned in detail about anticoagulants, but it still gave me this horrible, doubtful feeling I got inside. I questioned myself for a little while. Is this what I want to do? Do I want to be a pharmacist. Should I change?……Now, I think back through out any moment I have faced failure there is this moment where I decide what I want my path to be. Did I want to keep doing this and what is my reason Why? So what did I do? I vented to my friends about how I was feeling then I studied my butt off for my next exam. I worked even harder and asked more question at my next opportunity at IPPE rotation and if I didn’t know it I told them hold on let me find out. I made a 88 on my second PT self-care exam. And I am so proud of that 88. I went into that exam, told myself to breath and that I know this. To not second guess myself.

Dealing with failure is hard. Especially since most of us pharmacy students were the smart kids in undergrad. Now, it is a bunch of smart kids in a class together with larger amounts of material being given to us in a short time. And you can’t help but compare yourself to the person next to you. Pharmacy school isn’t all good grades, helping happy patients, get every position and always impressing everyone you meet. But, what I can say is it has challenged me to an overwhelming extent that I graciously take on. It allows me to make an impact on my community. Dealing with failure is normal and will probably happen to you at least once in your pharmacy career {with myself, multiple times.} However, I promise it will make you a better pharmacists. I promise you, it will make you a better person.

If this post helped one person then I’m glad I admitted to the internet that yes, I have failed. However, I did not let that stop me and neither should you.

“Fall down eight times, get up nine.”